Tuesday, April 28




gimme gimme,
gimme gimme,


♥ baby

Thursday, April 23

Confession Of My Brittle Heart

. NO .

It makes no perfect sense anywayy.

Before my b got indeep into his using, he was happy and a joy to be around one day ( when he promise me everythingg lahh kononnya) as a complete ass. Then again, he blamed me for everything the next (when he was coming down). WTH!!! I'm just so frustrated! He is not in recovery. He uses more now than ever before. Of course I don't know how much and it would all be lies if he tried to tell me anyway. But, I see the difference in him. Sedeyy babeh.
Dah takde air mata nk ngs. Silly-stupid-words i'm telling youh!
Please stop crying baby.


p/s:It's one hell of a roller coaster fer lover face it. Babi!! I'm sory fer having that words through this.
so, once again.Babi.babi.babi!!

Tuesday, April 21

Iman Al-Farissi

♥ Just-like-I-taught ♥

I got a great superb pic of my nephew. ngehh. As cute am I. Fer ppl out there, i'm thinking, relief on them might catch on a special spa treatment fer students. Hah. Believe it! Nahhh..
My baby mucuk luby lubyy.

I love my nephew cz he provide a never ending source of funny and meaningfull memories. Keep reminding me that, although those nasty things always turn
out unperfectly, there are replaced by plenty remedies to laugh and enjoy. Given out by you, my:

call him "Rishi Kapoor"

Gonna show the photos I took of my nephew during the blast happy time at home :)

"dahla mama lala. pls dont take my pic anymore. Uwaaaa!"
Halaa readers, Budak tu da nk ngs laa..

Hi. I'm Iman. Wanna puke already??kahkah.
"Saya tak pandai ckp lagi la aunty!"

Weee. Iman's face are very cute and charmingg. muah muah syg. Mama lala cyg dia sgtt :)
I love it and everythingg about it.

p/s: If u dont understand my silence, u'll not understand my words.


 It is really nice when there is soo many things going through my mind. And me, just go out and relax with the people i love. The things has been bugging me so much that I do not even really feel like doing anything, except this:

"With lots and lots of love that I could ever give, only fer selected people."




Bcoz silly faces will never end. So does our frenship.

See, she's always the planner. Anywayy, she is awesome! of course, you-know-who.

Hello kami gedik..ade masalah?

So, u taught its going to end?But nehh, letss continue.
Wanna puke alreadyy?
tgk laa lagihh kami :)



We do it our style
the roomy/the sister/the problem solver/the ear/the eyes/the buntut/the tut tut/the shampoo sabun partner/the sleeper/the buncits/the eater/the rocker/the whaterer/the cafe/the rabe rabe/the itu dan ini
Sure la be miss by me. You're taking your asses away. Soo, boo to me la.

It was a great moment ever! Hope we always had a blast :)

Monday, April 20

The person i adhered to

Khairul amirul! I must really say, missing u a loads now! Was really hard to say how darn i miss u but i'll see u soon tomorrow kay! *hug and kisses*. Havva blast then, which i know you will.haha.

When u lose smthg u know that worth more than money can buy, u will be just like me. Im sure. Smtms i do pray that time will go faster. Where i wish to lives with him ferever. Then, i can know, how will a healed person be like. Will he ever be the same.He will be the one of the love young guy best friend that i will ever so proud to have.

Occay, this is a plenty pure of our love story.
Reader, sorry if i bore u.

Pics: Pretty evently night so be sure meaningfull enuff fer me. Tq, hunn.

Baby ♥ B


Here we go, today is my 1st exam: Financial Market and Institution 

Its starts at 9.00 a.m. Lets analyse the situation i faced during examination:

Blurb! What the question??Nah! amek ko. Susah gile bebs! What is known, we need to answer 5 question over 8 question given. So, im 100% sure to work on for those chapter i have studied.Ngahh ngahh. As it is my 1st exam here, i dunno how its works. And of course i dunno how many words/pages i have to write fer each question. Its a little bit annoying. Thats crazzyyy. And i wont thinking ahead bout this anymore. Lantaklahh!

Rindu gila babs II

Hey darl! Rindu kamu gila babs juga!
This is not ordinary friends, im telling you. That is y, i never will choose to forget bout this frenship no matter how rough the road. Of course, she had work together
 witme to mend this. My success! Thanks lotss to her. Without you qeels, i never will achieve this. I cant do it alone.

It's not a dream of being rich nor having a superb olidayy we had or smthg related to that sort. Its just a dream of a mended frenship. I wish that things could be done perfectly.

You have no idea how much am I going to miss you, sticking you head through the grill with that cute face of yours. En, definitely ours! Tell to the people, we are greatest enough, and those of them, we just don't even care.

Here are some of her pics :)

Ta-da. Lol. i think we will do a better make up next time.

♥ Baby~

Saturday, April 18


Theoretically, i could have been studying fer every single day fer the past several weeks, ahaa. I get off to a good start.

I take a week off olidayy at home, then decide to set study schedule fer myself, giving myself 2full weeks to study fer the final exam, ermm..iyelah tu..which should be plenty of time to study each of 9 chapter twice. welalala. Occay, nevermine, today is the day i should start studying fer this coming monday exam, that i take only a whole day from now. At least there's the plan..

  • 8.00 am  :  Wakeup from dreaming.
  • 9.00 am  :  Breakfast
  • 10.00am : Studying till now, i relieved to stop studying by blogging 
  • 5.00  pm  : BLOGGING TIME !!
  • 6.00  pm  : Continue study occay.
  • 7.30 pm : My dad, mum, those siblings and i will solat hajat together after magrib prayers.
All seems to occur rught around this time around me 
to be more confidence in exams, Its not life or death, whether i'll fail or ace it. Hopefully, i'm nott! Good Luck though.

p/s: My only thoughts, would be prepare as much as i can, but dont take it seriously. Just in case in any circumstances of otak h-a-n-g. Euwww..scarry. Incidently, wish its not going to happen for this final exam.Wish me all the best and lotss of lucks too!

Toodles  :)

Friday, April 17

going grazy~

Feels like i've abandoned this blog for such a long time! Sigh* Final exams are coming up and i feel sooo lazyy to studyy..ngehh

who doesn't anywayy? Not to even mention i've been skipping classes fer the past week and today, finally, is the day of, erm let e say still like in the class laa *grins*

Then again, after one week of study break would be my "mother of horror story" (according to my finance lecturer) Heh. Tatoottt. So apalagi? Study laa cik dyra oi...!! 

haha b, i'm going to rub this in! la-la-la

p/s : pehlessss, continue study occay dyra nurrr! wee~

Thursday, April 16

Final Fever

Books and I. We are friends now! Yay!

Study. Study. Study
It is necessary for now.
Must be. Must. and Surely must.

Its a relatively short update because I still have my mission to accomplish. I need to study, hard very hard. Yet, I still have another one assignment! Gile weyh!  Omg, don't even tell me how lifeless I am to be doing my assignments/my study/my effort/my multitasking ahgain!. Sigh* Corporate Finance assignment especially. Sob sob. Me no likely a financial analyst. Gile nott~. But its interesting to hear about examples of such cases. Maybe, i will be one of those successful ppl. Kah kah. Hope so. Success la sgt.


Regarding to my life, there's a feeling of relieved after being able mend a long last loveship. It almost seemed impossible to have recovered it, but I can only conclude faith has made it happen. Its really complicated how it all started and wish will be no ended being such a sore relationship. I need him. Still. Love? No words can describe how crazy am i to him. I love you b! Till death its never be end up.I can only thank God that I never gave up pursuing the ship. And today, I know this ship was stronger than I thought it was. It managed to withstand the bruises and scar. I cannot be happier about today.

I have sooo many happy moments I want to share!! But.. studying are staring at me now. Will update soon, I hope :P 




Wednesday, April 15


It's a strange feeling to feel how I feel right now, and I don't even know how to explain it. Perhaps, contented and appreciative? Yet on the other hand, it doesn't seem right to feel that way. Okay, I'm making things complicated.

There's so many things you make me feel about you at this point of time and I think I should remember to write it down just in case I ever forget in future.

- you are the only person who can turn a sour grape into a sweet one.(tq)
- how you can speak of something fake that sounds so genuine. (i hate you)
- u seem to be able to read my mind (whateva) 
- you crack me up (totally hate you!)

There's so much more than that, but I guess those are things I choose to keep close to my heart. Don't think I didn't know what you did today.For you, stop pretending like an angel given those all good kind which is not exactly pure.

Thanks for loving me.
Thanks for unappreciated me.
Thanks for degrading me.
Thanks for sarcsm me.
Thanks for hurting me.

Let you know, even I am not perfect for you, I never degrading people as you did though. I am not.

Ok, i shall end randomly. 
I am crying...

LOVE ME  please


Sunday, April 5

My Own

♥ My Love Note ♥

My words, My thoughts, and My life

"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents,the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love.When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age"
-Sophia Lauren

Alluringly beautiful!
Notebooks with covers that I’m just not drawn to don’t get used at all, at least not until I change the covers to something I like. I got a notebook last few year. I bought it into two design. Yea, i'm totally greedy.It has great blank pages and is sturdy and a nice size, and the cover is the most I like lots! It’s a washed out pinky and white velvet with a pattern that just don’t make my heart sing. So I designed my own layout inside, with lots of lace and love.

Beautfying it by including photos with my beloved one!

heee.I dont care what people gonna talk about us. Because the fact is, I love him so much so. I thought I should say to the whole world, how much he brings laughter and smile for me.Wink! :)

And it’s now my everyday writing diary. I really like it now. Stiching here and there, and adding our capture,my and his name into white on white.

Oups! Its gonna be a nurture joke. Known, or maybe unknown. It is the fact! Really? It is romantic and subtle but also very persuasive and strong. This book belongs to a creative girl, you can tell.haha.

No wordy adding in this page. Arghhh! I think I should put a pink felt heart that I can cut out from another sources. And not forgetting, a lacy doily on top of that.

I made sure the word Strength was readily readable. And a final detail, another simply caption with untainted heart will be an evidence of our eternity love.

Finally, for me, lots of pretty stuff to be inspired by! I makes pretty little things that makes me smile, mostly, because it is a part of me.

Stuff, Love and Life is one.

Saturday, April 4

i am sick

A couple of days back I got the sickness. Particularly, a disease. UTI.*infection* I got it over a weekend. This was precisely bracketed by the time I got back from class on friday to the time I got up monday morning to go back to class.So on top of everything else it's also a sickness with a cruel sense of humor.OMG. I am so sick on that!

I've been feeling pretty smug about all this because I never got a sickness shot ever. In fact, I've been getting this shots for a bunch of years now and I've effectively stopped getting sick. I smugly held this up as proof that this shot works, and I smugly paraded my sunny health annoyingly. Yup, I was really smug about it. sickness shots are great, thought I. I'm so damn healthy, thought I. Smug smug smug.

And then last thursday the sickness came down again from, I don know where, and humorlessly squashed all the smug right out of me. I should note here that I am using "diseases" generically. I don't think either of us ever actually had the actual sick. I never ran a fever, although it felt like I was. I think this was just a really bloody nasty awful headcold. But damn, what a vicious terror of a headcold it was.

For five days I did nothing but take ponstant and sleep. I have only one clear memory of those five days: One night I stared fascinatedly at my laptop and clicking through the screens, because the menus were coming apart and floating around about a foot in front of the screen,"Are you OK?" b asked me. "I am so stoned." I commented insightfully. Obviously I am not going to be writing the induced kubla khan any time soon.

Interesting fact I learned during my sickness: You know the slogan I quoted above,

"The Sniffling Sneezing Coughing Aching Stuffy Head Fever So-You-Can-Rest thing?"

They've changed it. The stuffy head part is gone. I stared at the box for a long time thinking "where's the stuffy head part?" and then I realized....maybe they took the stuffy head drug out.
Sure enough, thanks to ajai and Zura, part of my luffy friends, who help me. wake up early in the morning. Sorry for disturbin. 5 a.m u noe.i'm so sick.so so sick. They went to my room, briefing smthg as Zura provide me some med. Oh God. I really dislike the med! No!

I feel so much healthier now.

I feel so much healthier now.
One step at a time. Notable is that it has taken me three days to write this post.

I am so sick.

Sick sick of mine.

Sick of him.

One and only the doctor i need.

Him. Him. Him. plss God..*crashing-crying*

I want him

Him. Him.Him.


Time turning back

Wednesday, April 1

EXAM! freak out!

You ever feel so pits and so bored and just overly blasted up if a bullet around your skull. Did you might feel marginally better?That is how I feel right now, Pisted as I am I might take some one out with me. I am so sick of the shit. I just want out and I want out now.I can't love, I can't do anything. I am so done.What the hacks?Why the things empericilly way they are? Wtf! Panicking and I can't keep doing things.I just don't know, I don't know any more.I just want to explode all over, a bullet could do it.Coward as a I am, a bullet won't get its chance.

I don't know. I am just pisted...
I can't do any thing, I am gonna freak withh my test/exam.ngehhh
Examination drama isn't what you should worry about, it is being programmed for perfection. Anything less is a death sentence,essentially I am never taking another finance course again. Never.haha.tak bsyukur lgsg.hee.*peace*
Thats all, I'm so programmed n I hate it. I am so done

i can't get out of it or anything.i am so stuck.i'm gonna crash again

i'm crashing

it is another one of those nights

and I can only write on a freak now, I just need to write things out and think but I can do that with people breathing down my neck.None of you probably know, you are all reading this and thinking "i'm not okay probably" oh pls.Pls don't stress about it. I've been done the dark hole, its a bad place, I try to stay out of it.

but i'm crashing again, and i think its gonna be pretty well.Yes! I should try to score it!