2010. What have I learned this year?

Hello, welcome 2011 and goodbye 2010!

Lets have a quick glance throughout my 2010.

Just a little bit, that can explain everything out.

--------------------------------------------------------------

2010, so...what have i learned this year?

To not waste time and take advantage of things that come my way.

To not give a damn about what people have to say (negatively).

Do what i wanna do! And not what others want me to do.

My life is confusing. I dont think i can ever live a simple live, even though i'm simple :P

So, when year comes to end, I'll be thankful to see another one blossom.

HEHEH!

Pil Tidur

A moment when i'm in a bed, waiting to fall asleep, i just have that pause where i just think about everything. Life. Love. Family. That emotional session where it's the right time for me to blog. Did you feel the same way too? Hmm. Or justtt.. it was only me with this feeling?

For me

A real man cries even when in front of a girl.

A real man wears pink without hesitation.

A real man never fights without a reason.

A real man shows fidelity to a relationship.

A real man respects girls in all aspect.

And a real man ends a relationship before he starts fooling around.

Is there was a "real man" i'm looking for?

For Real

Sometimes, u just need to distance yourself from people. If they care, they'll notice. If they don't, u know where to stand.

love, dyradrea

An evening of unexpected bliss

Look good, made me "Look Good"

It was fun! It was awesome! It was great to have them iaitu "diorang":

Dan mereka adalah..jeng jeng jeng

My beloved nephew:

Iman Al-Farissi (as above)

Idd Al-Farissi (as below)

And peace!

Sister too!

Cik Rafeah

Cik Lili e e e

Tapi kenapa "diorang" fun, awesome, and great kan?

Tahu tak kenapa?

Sebab korang gila.

plus gedik

plus budget hot. Plss lah

Tapi sayang sekali, korang still a loser.

sebab kenapa?

sebab kakak korang ni jugak yang ter-paling STYLE.

and korang Major double loser. Sekian.

P/s: Korang, ok tak sebab-sebab yg tertera ni? BWAHAHA

Shit shit shit. I want this!

Ok. Mama marah sebut "Shit" for many times. Tak kisah lah mama. I want this! I'm just over these perfumes. Seriously. Kak Mariah, you are really killing me. But oh, never mind. At least these inspired me for an effort in seeking job to greater earn more money! Bwahaha. And yes, NOW I KNOW, this is all about MONEY! MONEY! AND MONEY! erkk! *dead*

Here is Candy Perfume I want :)

Woot woot, and here again are the most unusual things I have been looking for lately. Sampai siang malam termimipi mimpi. Terbayang bayang. Tercari cari. Ohh Mariah Carey.

MINE AGAIN, RIBBON, HONEY

by: Mariah Carey

Umphh so, apart of it, this is my favorite of three.

I was hoping for:

"MINE AGAIN"

Oh I were dying to try it, hopefully I will have a better luck. Seriously, serious, serious shit, I want this :(

♥ dyradrea

p/s: Itu pasal lah saya beria update resume hari ini. Haha :P

Ini semua Kak Mariah funya fasal. hish!

No small miracle, and so this is my sacrifice :(

Salam Eidul Adha People,

I have so much to write about. So much. As u know, and now i know. I am still me. Still a 24 me who cant never stop crying for her every night. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because i alone choose it. I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears, my success, all my failures and mistakes. And oh fine i admit, i'm a loser between me and u. However i look and sound, whatever i say and do, and whatever i think and feel at a given moment, its all drama. I want to be strong. So strong just like u. But i never think, never do, that i can, Yes! "I can't!" I'm still in need of u. I am me. I am not okay. From the past until today :(

Oh Allah,

"Truly my prayer, my SACRIFICE, my LIFE and my DEATH are all for Allah the Lords of the Worlds. I divert my attention to the Lord who created heavens and the Earth, as one by nature upright, and i am not of the idolaters. Oh Allah, this SACRIFICE is from You and for You. In the name of Allah. Allah is the Greatest."

love, dyradrea

Decision! Decision! Decison!

The decision i made recently was not easy. At this point of my life, there is no "Unsure answer" just like:

- Oh I dont Know.

- Errr..entah la.

- Yeww. Takut nya!

- Takmau..Takmau..

- Isk! Taknak lah.

- alaa..

Ok ok. Just put aside this rubbish and this is what i know for sure: I AM ALL GROWN UP. haha! I wish i can decide my life on my own. It is challenge i am willing to take to follow my heart. I may hv made the right decision and life will be alright or i may have made the wrong turn and turned my life upside down. Whatever it is. Dyra, tolong jangan nak perasan macam konon konon tough. I know I am. Argh! Tolong!

Dyra turns 24

AND NOW, at 24th

i know for sure

True friends are forever.

They are the one we should appreciate.

:)

12 cupcakes X 2 bestfriend = is 24 babes!

For the record, at this 24th, i spent my 24 hours, doing about something, yet unexpectedly turns out to be a job well done.

I am officially completed my thesis report due on:

8th November 2010

Dear younger me, Congratulations! Ehee :)

WHAT DID I REMEMBER FROM MY SCHOOLING-UNI DAYS?

(ok sekarang kene jawab dgn muka kerek, konon konon dah nak grad. So, ini serius muka kerek. Boleh? Haha)

ok the answer is:

Whole loads of drama for sure! Haha!

THESIS:

"Adalah mimpi ngeri, drama sana sini. Susah-senang sana sini. Menjerit melolong seorangan sana sini. Menangis sana sini. Who knows, i'm done ok!"

Ok family and friends,

It is not even a day of celebration. i will use this day (starting today ok) to reflect my achievements. I will often ask myself, "If ayah is around, will he be proud of me? Have i done enough to make my parents proud?". Hee. (Dengan harapan ayah and mama tinjau tinjau post ini. Haih!). So as i considering this Pre-graduate, (AHHA) i do hope to lead my life with a good purpose and continuously improve and reach a different level every day. InsyaAllah. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why i am always passionate to chase my personal goals. It is something that i really want to accomplish and make mama and ayah proud. Cewahh. Macam dah confirm grad. Berangan sgt ke hadapan. HAHA. Keep on dreaming babes!

Love, DyraDrea ♥

This week, i was a "Boneka Bernyawa"

Stress out my ass! Oh migrain, migrain hari hari.

umpph, i think these sentence says it all. Completing thesis and preparing presentation in less than one week. Let's see how i die. *dead*

Kenapa boneka bernyawa? because of having 24 hours depan laptop, without having any feeling and desire towards other. Ini bukan simptom kemurungan ye. Tapi, simptom kerisauan dengan keberjayaan and keberkesanan research paper saya ni. Ok, dulu cita-cita nak jadi lecturer, dgn sebab, nak membantu anak bangsa. Tapi, memikirkan betapa payah nya nak complete kan satu simple research paper ni. Macam tak jadi je cita-cita tu. Haha. Oh, sorry ayah!

love, dyradrea

"Hidup" tak semudah yang di sangka

Kadang-kadang saya lagi selesa begini. Saya tahu saya tak kuat. Tapi, saya mencuba. Saya tahu, saya tak boleh. Tapi, saya mencuba. Dulu, saya tak matured. Dulu, saya sering dimanja. Dulu, saya suka bergembira. Dulu, saya lebih more to dunia. Tapi..itu semua dulu. Kenapa dgn sekarang? Mungkin kerana usia. Mungkin kerana environment sekeliling. Mata saya lebih terbuka. Hati saya mula lebih merasa. Fikiran saya yang dulu sempit, makin luas luas dan luas. Saya jadi macam ini ada reason nya. Saya buat decision macam ini, ada reason nya. Ramai kata saya EGO. Sangat EGO. Ok, memang tak nak nafikan pun. Ramai org kata: "dyra jangan ego sangat, nanti makan diri". Eh, which one is better? Makan diri, or makan hati? Makan diri will happen once, then settle. Makan hati? continuously tau. Long-term effect yang boleh defect macam macam. So takpelah, biar lah orang nak kata apa. Saya lebih selesa begini. Saya nak buktikan for mama and ayah, satu hari nanti, anak ini lah yang dulu nya suka merengek, dah boleh berdiri atas kaki sendiri. Anak ini lah yang dulu suka merungut, boleh settle kan problem dengan sendiri nya. I will. Yes, i will!

Saya tahu, hidup ini hanya sementara.

Tak berjaya dapat kebahagian di dunia.

Di akhirat mungkin ada. Amin :)

love,

dyradrea

Never Alone.

Dear family,

Alhamdulillah, feeling so blessed these few days, without wondering how in the WORLD, ANYONE could EVER doubt for a MOMENT that there is people, there is "LOVE". It is beyond description. These peoples are mine. Allah gave these precious angels to me. No matter where my journey takes me, no matter how alone i may or may not feel, no matter how few things i may not have, win or lose, i quickly reminded by one glance, one kiss, one snuggle, one uncontrolled giggle, that i have EVERYTHING...EVERY--THING ok. The WORLD and ETERNITY EVEN. So blessed. I am honestly overcome.

Me, siblings, lil' cousins and Aunty :)

Nak tahu?

I'm so into you

oh baby i must confess, every time i see u.

I love Sunsets so much!

I realize more and more we can easily go, through the daily motions of life and not really be downgrading. There are always reason y we can't or shouldn't do something. Otherwise life just seems to dreary.

Umpph, all about surviving to the next week until weekend.

Oh sunsets, Oh Allah. I'm always with you :)

-dyradrea

Where I'm at.....

Its Friday,

End of this week. This week was the golden period of my life. I will never forget the time, support, thought, motivation, and love all have given me profusely without any selfish attitude. I realize, i know, how much friends love me. I don't know how but at least i have created a big space in my friends heart. A time when i used to be very emotional and i used to think that there is no one in this world who cares about me. A time where i used to cry for the whole day night in trauma. But at this moment of life when I see so many people getting involved with me, my failure, my life, my nonsense- the only thing i want to say that I AM DREAMING. I just get lost at a moment where i feel i am out of the world and when i see my life as a flashback. It was a very very hard for me to believe that so many things happened with my life which make others getting involved in. I love everyone who always help and support me. You're made my day whatever i am today. Thank you so very much people and friends.

XOXO,

dyradrea ♥

I just want time for ME.

i am now working through change and fear

There is where i pray on my weak spots. Ok fine. Saya dah lemah. I immadiately flash back to moments in my past. Where mama and ayah raise me. Ibu (my aunty) who really care on me. Oh, i really need them. I find out that at 24 i can't still stand on my own feet. I was always the girl who fear to face tomorrow, the girl who always afraid to take risks and do things against the grain. I can spend my time worrying about pretend scenarios in my head. Ya Allah, what is wrong with me? :'(

It is just a down few days for me..they seem to come now and then. And in some ways it os good because it gives me a chance to bolster myself, to reaffirm my decisions, to dig and find that "just do it" attitude that i know is there. Everything will truly be fine and i am so lucky to even have a choice in this matter.

Sometimes it is just hard to leave the nest...

-dyradrea

Life can be so badshit insane sometimes.

This morning, i was full of emotion, so jaded. So completely jaded. And so i clean and do my best to pitch things and trying to get rid of what happen. What i see is depressing and sad and makes me wonder why the hell there is just no happy ending. No living will. I want out at the near top of my game. And if something happens to me, i just need someone be around to back me up with a sincere heart.

What i did take away from this day is that i am going to start living more, in the present and to the fullest. Hell, no matter how well i go through, or how good myself are-there are no promises. None.

"Ini rumah saya. Malam tadi saya pergi jalan-jalan nak pergi tgk bulan. Bulan cantik sgt. Dia senyum kat saya. Saya nak pergi jauh-jauh. Nak duduk dekat bulan. Tolong jaga rumah saya tau. Jumpa lagi :)"

-dyradrea

I am now seeking levity and bliss

I won't give up eventhough i sometimes feel like it.

I am just trying to find myself.

:'[

Today was just not a good one, as per everyday. I can't get tired. I am just getting caught up with things and don't want to get "underwater" again. I am still having to find my rhythm around here as well. Otherwise, i am always cleaning or trying to get something done. Trying to find more space. More Space for me to just be as well. OK, that is about all my brain can come up with.

A friend is someone who is there for you when he/she'd rather be anywhere else

-by Len Wein

What about "boy" friend?

*Oh idk. Help me though.*

I want to be happy, be.

To be happy,

we must not be too concerned with others.

-Albert Camus, The Fall, 1956

if u observe a really happy man, u will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert. He will not be striving for it as a goal in itself. He will have bcome aware that he is happy in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours of the day.

much love,

DyraDrea.

anda ada berapa ramai boyfren kesemuanya?

jap ye, kene guna calculator.

Ask me anything

Boredomville

Writing from my second home with some pictures of my second room. I used to have a fantastic view before and after i'm completed my-thesis.

See what i mean:

BEFORE

and AFTER..

Had the craziest-hectic-day for four days, packed and slept like a kungfu panda yesterday, and now i'm in my cosy room enjoying the smelly scent of it.

Lols.

What do you expect?

zzzz..

Pathetic Monday

The thing is, i'm seriously not a Monday person.

Shouldn't be complaining as i use the monday to complete my proposal thesis.

Lol.

Oh Sunday

It's Sunday!


This means that my holidays are soon to be over. Tisk tisk. I havent been productive at all throughout my holidays. Who's suppose to be productive anyway? Been working on and off but pretty much nothing interesting going on.

On another note, i would like to thank you for supporting me all the way and encouraging me. And also other people who's cared for me, u know who u are. I know i know i know. I'm doing okayyyyyy. Monday tomorrow. Yucks. Have a good day y'll!
xoxo, dyra drea.

Weekending

A bit on my saturday
Reading, singing, reading and reading.
Just nice :)

Hello thesis, Goodbye Burden.

Where have i been?

Would it be too cliche to say that life is sooo busy?
Right now, i am doing my very best to get on top, and stay on top of things in my life. But hopefully by the end of August my plate will be mostly empty and i am very much looking for it.

my friend is my books, notebooks, and journals. pffft!

Terlampau Pendam Sangat

So, apa jadi?

macam ni lah jadi nya

Hello Excuse Me

Have a great remaining week ahead.

Ya allah, wajah mereka..

Yesterday, i visit these Anak Yatim

And i feel like a newborn, kicking and screaming.

WAJAH MEREKA..

Make tears dropping by,all day long..This day has been amazing. Cooler and different. I'm not naive to declare my feeling. I cry, Yes I do cry. There maybe no color at all because of their plight, their feelings, their sentiment. But i will find every way i can to celebrate this Ramadhan and add my own color to it.

I wish i can always be with them

:' O

It was a good lesson for me, while it is not letting my impatience ruin oppurtunities to share beautiful moments with these children.

"SENTIASA HARGAI APA YANG KITA ADA, RAMAI LAGI DI LUAR SANA YANG LEBIH SUSAH, TABAH MENGHADAPI HIDUP MEREKA"

Salam Ramadhan,

Dyra Drea

Oh, and how i dislike uncertainty

Obviously, it is worse when i'm tired.

so i am trying to get better about earlier bedtimes.

Manis sangat ke awak ni?

mungkin manis sangat. HAHA

Ask me anything

Mengapa awak rasa awk mungkin manis?

kerana saya rasa, mungkin saya manis.

Ask me anything

btol kah anda mirip heroin drama janji kekasih?

ya! betol! haha bukan saya yg kata lah. org yg kata.HAHA!

Ask me anything

bolehkah anda specifickn, di mana kah manis itu??

HAHA, mungkin hati saya yg agak manis. Awwwh!

Ask me anything

ape yg manis 2...

saya la manis.

Ask me anything

i'll be missing you - Suriati Selamat

Thanks to you too darling :)

fine! saya dah jatuh cinta dgn lelaki ini

...and i wanted to make a stronger statement than that.

Ya Tuhan, saya sangat cinta jejaka ini.

Moga hari-hari dapat ketemu.

Oh sayang, Lala rindu kamu..

SEE! what i mean..

dia kekasih saya :)

pening la pulak

SEBAB HARI-HARI MAKAN MAGGI

plus nescafe.

tapi,

ber ulam kan sawi. ok tak?

I left my energy at home

I think i need something more..spiritual.

Tell me what do you do when its all fall apart?

ISNIN= HARI MALAS

miahaha :P

Shit laa..

IS IT A SIGN TO DISCONTINUING MY RESEARCH PAPER?

my computer consistently shuts itself down. Mozilla refuses to work and web pages are not loading. They all loathe me. It keeps on getting stuck and tells me memory error lar this lar that lar whatever lar. That's the problem when there's only a small RAM
-.-
i'm soooo marah!

Babypink, i wont hurt u, so be nice to me. grr